Alone
by evilcupcake13
Summary: I suck at titles...and summaries. Jack has to do something that will break his and Ianto's heart and leave them both feeling alone. But for the first time Jack might not be able to handle it. Janto.
1. Chapter 1

**The first bit of this is from my 10 iPod Shuffle Drabbles. Thanks to a lovely review from Janto-Lover, I decided to make this into a story. So, I thank you for the idea to make it into one. You're awesome. When I started writing I had a different idea for the end, but I actually like how this turned out, so yeah...ANYWAY, I will stop rambling now. Enjoy!**

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><p>Jack felt horrible. He knew he would be breaking Ianto's heart. His own heart was breaking just thinking about what he was going to do. He truly loved him, he did. But he couldn't keep doing this. He couldn't keep being with him. It would hurt too much in the end. He would be left alone again. He made promises…but he couldn't keep them. He knew it then and he knew it now…<p>

He felt sick. He took a deep breath and walked into his office, where Ianto was waiting for him.

"Let me apologize for what I'm about to say…"

The smile that fell off Ianto's face shattered Jack's heart into a million pieces.

"I knew this wouldn't last…I…I guess I was just trying to hold onto it for as long as I could…" Ianto said quietly, trying not to show how broken he was and holding back the tears that were threatening to fall down his cheeks.

"Ianto…you have to understand. It's not that –"

"You don't have to explain anything to me Jack. Like I said, I knew this wouldn't last. I knew this day would come soon enough."

Jack looked down and stayed quiet. He really didn't know what to say now. He had something all planned out, similar to what he had said to others, but it was caught in his throat and he just couldn't get it out.

"I'm so sorry…" Jack got out the only words that he could. Ianto cleared his throat before he spoke again, trying to swallow the lump that was forming.

"I should go," Ianto said, getting up and brushing passed Jack as he headed for the door. Jack stayed quiet and staring at the floor as Ianto left the room. He didn't move until he heard the alarms on the large cog door.

Jack sat heavily in his chair and poured himself some whiskey. He really hated his. He always did. But it really was for the best. It hurt less in the long run. He just hoped Ianto would at least come back to work. Jack still wanted him there and they all still did need him.

Jack finished his drink, sighing as he poured himself another glass. He stared out the large glass window of his office, just letting his emotions overwhelm him. He was alone again, just like he thought he always should be…no matter who he loved.

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><p><strong>Well that's the first chapter! Please review! I'd love some feedback on this. Hope you liked it!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't think I've ever gotten that many reviews, alerts, and favorites after the first night of posting something, especially the first chapter. So thank you to everyone that did. I'm considering this my first real Torchwood fanfiction so I was a little nervous about how I felt about this story at first, but now I'm much more confident about it. So again, thanks. And enjoy!**

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><p>Ianto lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. He was really trying to stay strong, trying not to let this hurt him as much as it did…but he couldn't help it. No matter how strong he tried to be or how hard he tried to block his feelings out, he was shattered by what Jack had done.<p>

Ianto sighed and looked at his clock. 3:33 am. He was never going to get any sleep tonight, he knew it, so he turned his TV on and started flipping mindlessly through the channels trying to find a decent infomercial or late night movie to watch. He was suddenly thankful he got the movie package as he settled on some scary looking movie on HBO.

He stared at the TV and debated on whether or not he should go to work tomorrow…or ever again. _No_, he thought to himself, _I won't let this mess up my life. He hasn't gotten to me that much. I can still work with him…I'll be okay…_He reassured himself and went back to watching the movie. After all, these kind of scary, suspenseful movies always got his mind off things for a while. He somehow fell asleep soon after, with a somewhat empty hand.

The next morning Ianto got up and went through his usual routine of getting ready and headed off to the hub. _At least I got a bit of sleep…_he thought to himself as he yawned, unlocking the door to the tourism office and walking in. He decided to spend a bit of time in the office before heading into the hub. Even though he came into work, he still wasn't sure he could face Jack just yet.

Jack came out from his bunker and looked down at the rest of the team through the glass of his office. He saw Tosh and Gwen at their desks talking idly, and Owen had just come up from the autopsy bay. Jack looked over to the coffee machine, secretly wishing he would see Ianto there, although part of him knew he wouldn't be there. Even with that knowledge, Jack was disappointed when he didn't see the Welshman making coffee as usual for everyone. He pushed his feelings aside and headed out his office and down to the others. He had to seem like everything was normal, like he wasn't hurting.

He stopped by Toshiko and started talking to her about a program she was working on. They talked about it for a bit and Jack was startled out of the conversation when he heard a familiar voice he wasn't expecting to hear.

"Coffee, sir?" He turned to see Ianto holding Jack's mug, with a small, forced smile on his face. Jack simply nodded and took the mug from him. He sipped at his coffee and watched Ianto walk away and down to the autopsy bay to give Owen his cup.

"Everything alright Jack?" Toshiko asked, noticing the look on Jack's face. Jack looked back at Tosh and smiled.

"Of course Tosh. Everything's fine." Toshiko looked back at him warily, and then smiled back at him. She knew he was lying, but she wasn't going to push it. Jack didn't like to talk about personal things.

Iatno took a deep breath to try to calm himself as he walked down to the autopsy bay. That simple gesture, only two words to Jack and he could barely make it through. He knew he had to keep it together. He was strong; he could live without being with Jack. He would be fine without him. He had to be.

Jack went back to his office after talking to Tosh. He sat at his desk and sipped at his coffee, staring down into the liquid when he set the mug down. Part of him was happy that Ianto decided to stay at Torchwood, but another part of him knew it would hurt him even more to see Ianto every day, happy, and not being with him. _Stop being so selfish_, he told himself. _Ianto deserves to be happy…and if working here means that then you can suck it up._

Jack finished his coffee and got up, looking down at everyone else through the glass of his office again. Ianto was talking with Tosh and Gwen and he laughed at something that was said. Jack softly smiled at seeing this, but his eyes were still sad. He sighed and kept watching them.

If Ianto could be strong, then so could he.

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><p><strong>There's chapter 2! Hope you all liked it. Hopefully chapter 3 will be up relatively soon, as well.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter took me longer to write than I thought it would. I kept getting stuck and I really don't know how I feel about this one. But here it finally is! Hopefully I can get the next one up faster...and feel better about it. Anyway, enjoy!**

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><p>The next morning Jack found himself waking up in some random empty bed. He sat up and looked around, hearing a shower going from behind the closed door. He sighed as he got up and started putting his clothes back on. Jack left the random person's house without a word and started walking to the hub since he knew he wasn't far from it.<p>

As he walked his mind wandered. He knew this was not the best way to try to get over Ianto, but it was the only way he really knew how to get over someone, by trying to forget and trying to move on. The first step to doing that was to sleep with a random person he met in a bar while he was feeling any sort of semblance of drunk that he could feel, so that's what he did. It wasn't unusual for him to try to pick someone up in a bar, but this was different. He didn't really care who it was and he didn't really even try to flirt much. He just wanted something, someone to get his mind off of Ianto.

Of course, it didn't work at all. If he was honest with himself it never really did. If anything, it only made him feel worse than before. And now he was just a bit lost.

"What am I going to do now…?" He muttered to himself as he walked into the tourism office.

Ianto looked up when he heard the door open and was a little surprised to see Jack coming in. He took in Jack's appearance, hair a mess and clothes a bit disheveled, and wondered if he was coming back from a bad night out or a good one.

"Morning, sir," he said, noticing Jack jump slightly and look at him surprised when he spoke. "Are you alright?" Ianto asked him with a bit of concern. They may not have been together anymore, but he could still worry about him sometimes.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Jack lied and continued on his way to the hidden entrance as Ianto pushed the button to open it for him.

"Okay, sir."

Ianto watched Jack as he walked down the tunnel to the cog door, then pressed the button to close the hidden entrance. He took a deep breath and went back to the papers he was going over, but he still couldn't concentrate. He told himself he would be okay, that he wouldn't let still being around Jack bother him or hurt him. He just couldn't help worrying, though. He could tell there was something wrong with Jack, but he had no idea what he could do to try to help…or even if he should.

Ianto shook his head and tried to concentrate again. _No,_ he thought to himself. _It's his life. I don't care what he does anymore._

Jack got into his office and down to his bunk, grateful that none of the others had gotten to the hub yet. He took a quick shower and by the time he was ready and climbed out of his office Ianto was placing a mug of coffee on his desk along with some papers.

"Thanks," Jack said quietly as he sat down at his desk.

"You're welcome, sir. Anything else you need?" Jack looked up at him. He was being completely professional and normal, as if nothing had ever happened between them. Jack wasn't sure how to feel about that and he didn't really know why, either. _He must be handling this better than me…good for him…_

"No, I'm fine. Thanks, Ianto," Jack replied with a small smile and Ianto walked out of his office. Jack sighed. _ I really have to pull myself together…after all I'm the one that ended it…I can't let those feelings get in the way…_ Jack suddenly found himself wishing that Ianto hadn't stayed at Torchwood.

After leaving Jack's office, Ianto went back to the kitchen to make more coffee because he knew the others would be asking for their second cup soon. As he was making the coffee, he realized something. Being perfectly normal around Jack had come surprisingly easy to him. _I think I really will be okay, _Ianto thought to himself and smiled softly. Even though this realization had given him some relief, he still couldn't help the fact that he knew he would still worry about Jack from time to time…or a lot of the time, quite frankly; because, really, it was rather hard not to worry about Jack most of the time.

With the relief setting him in a better mood than he had been in for the past few days, he went back out to the others to bring them their coffee.

Jack came out of his office a while later to get some more coffee and to see if anything was going on. Things had been slow lately and he was getting rather bored with it. He went to Tosh's desk and looked over her shoulder. Before he could open his mouth, Tosh cut him off.

"Nothing's going on Jack. No rift activity." Jack sighed.

"But sitting around here is just so boring," he replied. Jack really just wanted something to do to keep his mind occupied. He really needed to figure out what was going on with him. He had to get better control over his emotions; and what better way than to let out some steam fighting some alien, even if it was just a weevil. Apparently, the rift didn't agree with him because there was nothing happening. At all.

"If nothing's going on by this afternoon, then you can all go home early. Better than sitting around here for nothing."

They all nodded in understanding and Jack went back to his office after Ianto poured him more coffee, while the rest of them all decided to go out to a pub together after work.

"Jack!" Gwen called to him as he reached his office door. He looked back at her and stopped, waiting for her to catch up. "Want to come to the pub with us later?"

Jack thought for a moment, and then nodded, smiling at her. "Sure, sounds fun."

She walked back down to the rest of them and Jack went into his office, doing boring paperwork until later in the afternoon.

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><p><strong>Okay, there's chapter 3. The next one will be better. Promise. Please review!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**So I think I finally have an actual grip on exactly where this is going. Haha. Anyway, here's chapter 4. Minor Gwen bashing...nothing bad though. I don't really think I have anything else to ramble about. Enjoy!**

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><p>They sat at the bar and ordered drinks. Almost everyone was in a happy, chatty mood. Almost. Jack would have rather been sulking in his office and drinking alone, but he knew he didn't really have much of a choice in the matter. If he hadn't agreed to come, then Gwen would have just found some way to drag him along, anyway. So he happily drank his scotch and listened to whatever the others were talking about with a somewhat forced smile on his face.<p>

Ianto sat at the other end of the group next to Tosh, sipping his beer. He had really needed a night out for some fun and was quite happy that there had been no rift activity. He really didn't bother trying to ignore Jack, seeing how they worked together and it would have been impossible. So, instead, he was learning to live with him there, kind of in the background. He knew it would hurt sometimes, but he's a big boy. He could learn to live with it until it stopped.

Jack half listened to Gwen as she rambled on about something that, frankly, he didn't care about. At all. Every now and then he'd glance down the bar to see Ianto and Tosh seeming to be in some intense conversation. He couldn't help but feel jealous. He knew that nothing would ever happen between them, but deep down he wished that Ianto would talk to him like that again.

Jack stared back down into his drink. _I'm not allowed to think like that…he has no reason to talk to me like that anymore so why would he? I really wish things could be easier…_ he thought to himself. He knew he was thinking like a selfish brat and that he had to stop soon before he ended up like Gwen. He grimaced at the thought.

"You alright, Jack?" Speaking of…

"Yeah, I'm fine, Gwen. Just spacing out," Jack replied. Gwen stared at him for a moment before continuing on whatever the hell she was rambling about.

Around two hours later, when almost everyone was pretty drunk, they decided to call it a night and head home. Owen and Tosh shared a cab to their own places. _Yeah right…_ Ianto had thought. Gwen had called Rhys to pick her up. Ianto, who had only finished off one and a half beers and was barely buzzed, was left with the unfortunate job of getting a drunken Jack back to the hub. _Why me?_ He had thought to himself.

The bar they ended up at wasn't that far from the hub, so they could walk back. Well, Ianto could. Jack would have to be half dragged. Ianto knew that Jack had to have drank a whole hell of a lot to get himself drunk so this was a bad sign. Ianto walked out of the bar with one of Jack's arms around his shoulders and one of his arms around Jack's waist. As they started walking, Jack was mumbling things that Ianto could hardly understand.

"Oh, this will be fun…" he muttered to himself.

Ianto eventually got back to the hub and got Jack down into his bunker, quite relieved that it wasn't as difficult as he had anticipated. After Jack had practically fell down the ladder, which Ianto did feel bad about, Ianto managed to lay him onto the bed. He then took Jack's shoes off and pulled the covers over him.

"And here I am, still taking care of you…why am I not surprised?" Ianto said to himself and sighed. He turned to leave when he felt a hand grab his wrist. He looked down at Jack and his heart almost broke. He knew it didn't make any sense, but seeing Jack looking so broken and vulnerable, hurt Ianto. Jack looked into his eyes.

"I'm sorry…I messed everything up…I always do…I try to do the right thing…but it seems I'm always wrong…" Ianto shook his head. He really didn't want to hear this. He had been doing so well.

"Go to sleep, Jack. You need some rest." Jack looked down and let go of Ianto's wrist. "Goodnight, Jack," Ianto said and climbed back up the ladder.

Ianto laid down on the couch in Jack's office and closed his eyes. He didn't want to leave Jack alone while he was like this. With his luck, if he did, Jack would end up doing something stupid; and, really, that would be bad for everyone. He figured he should just stay the night on the couch so he could make sure that things would be okay. Was he worried about Jack? Yes. Should he be? Probably not, but he couldn't really help it anymore. He sighed and made himself comfortable on the couch, letting himself fall into a deep sleep.

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><p><strong>And there's chapter 4! Hope you liked it. I think this might just be one or two chapters more. Please review!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Wow...so this is probably the most I've written in a while for one chapter. Haha. I'm horrible at fight scenes so it's sort of vague there...and i really couldn't think of any alien or whatever to use so I settled on the weevils. Anyway, I really don't think I have much more to say. Enjoy!**

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><p>Jack woke up with a headache. It had been a while since he'd drank enough to give him a hangover. He groaned as he sat up and rubbed his head, looking around the room.<p>

"Well, at least I'm at my own place…" he muttered to himself. He got up and headed to the bathroom. He needed a hot shower. After the water heated up, he stepped in and started remembering the night before.

"Just great…" he groaned to himself. "Once again I was a complete idiot…" He sighed and kept showering.

By the time he stepped out, he had a clear head. He decided that he would do something nice for Ianto as a thanks for helping him last night when he most certainly didn't have to. He was sort of surprised he hadn't left Jack to wander the city and pass out on the street. _Then again,_ he thought, _Ianto is a much better person than that._

When he came out of the bunker and saw Ianto asleep on his couch, his heart melted. He couldn't really help it. He smiled and left his office. He knew what he would do for the ever caring younger man.

Ianto woke on the couch with a yawn and stretched, cracking his neck as he sat up. He looked around Jack's office to make sure that everything was in its place and okay. When he was about to get up to check on Jack in his bunker, the door opened and he looked up. Jack was carrying a tray with a plate and a mug on it. When he sat it down, Ianto saw there were eggs and toast on the plate and coffee in the mug. The surprise was evident on his face.

"It was the easiest thing to make…and I'm sure the coffee is nowhere near as good as yours, but I wanted to do something to thank you for taking care of me last night and not leaving me on the street," Jack said with a sheepish grin, scratching the back of his neck.

"Um…thanks. And it was no problem. I couldn't leave you on the street, Jack." Jack looked down.

"Sometimes I deserve it, though…" he said quietly. Ianto shook his head, but said nothing. He really didn't know what he should say, or could, without his emotions getting the better of him. He'd been so good at holding them back and he wouldn't let himself break now. So instead he opted for eating quietly. Jack may not cook often, but he was rather good at it, even if it was just eggs and toast.

"It's good, Jack. Thanks," he said, sipping the coffee. He smirked, "Although you are right about the coffee. Leave that to me from now on." Jack chuckled and sat down next to him. It was probably the first time since Jack ended things that Ianto had seem him at least somewhat relaxed and smiling.

"I think I can do that."

Jack stayed quiet while Ianto ate. He didn't really know what to say, but he did want to talk to him instead of this silence. It wasn't awkward, but he thought some conversation would be better. He was about to open his mouth to start some horrible small talk when Ianto put his fork down and stood up, stretching again.

"Well, thanks again, Jack. I best go change before the others get here," he said as he started walking out of the office, taking the dirty dishes with him. Jack just nodded and went to his desk. _Might as well get a start on some of this…_

Ianto went down to his office in the archives to change into some clothes that he kept there. He changed and went back up to the kitchen to make coffee for the others who would be coming in soon. By the time he was finished, Tosh and Owen had come in and were just standing by Tosh's desk chatting.

"Well don't you look sexy, Ianto," Tosh said, smirking, as he came towards them with their coffee. He blushed and handed them their mugs. The only clothes he had to change into were jeans and an old t-shirt that fit just right on him.

"You stay here last night and have some fun with our drunken captain?" Owen teased him. Ianto just rolled his eyes. Of course he would think that.

"No, Owen. I simply brought him back and stayed on the couch to keep an eye on him. It's really none of your business, anyway," Ianto replied a bit sourly and walked away, up to Jack's office.

"I've brought you a proper cup of coffee, sir," Ianto said as he walked into the office and over to Jack's desk. Jack looked up, a bit startled by Ianto's sudden entrance.

"Oh, thanks," he replied, taking the mug from the other man and sipping. "Yes, definitely much better than mine." He smiled, then looked back down at his paper work. Ianto stood there a moment, biting his lip, before finally turning and walking out of the office. He went to the kitchen and started cleaning his dishes and making more coffee. He was soon disturbed by Tosh yelling for everyone so he quickly made his way up to the rest of the team.

Ianto joined everyone, now including Gwen, huddled around Tosh's computer, which had picked up some rift activity. The rest of the team left, while Tosh stayed to keep an eye on things she could see from the CCTV and give them directions.

By the time they got the other side of the city, where the rift activity was coming from, they were a little surprised by what was causing the commotion. Weevils. Weevils would be relatively simple, right? That was pretty much the thought in everyone's head. Then they noticed how many there were and how they were being particularly violent, seemingly more so than usual.

And so the fight started. As soon as one of them stunned a weevil another one came after them. There were at least 20 of them just coming at them. They kept fighting and were slowly, but surely taking down the weevils. _Then we'll have the problem of moving them…_Ianto thought absently as he stunned one and it went down.

There were only about four left when he heard a cry of pain. He looked behind him and saw Jack going down, clutching his stomach. Ianto saw the weevil behind him with an old rusted pole that he had stabbed into Jack after sneaking up on him. _Seems they're getting smarter. _Ianto thought bitterly to himself as he ran to Jack, anger and fear coursing through him. He knew that Jack couldn't stay dead, but even knowing that didn't stop the fear that one day he might not come back. He feared that every time he watched Jack die.

When he got to Jack, Owen had already stunned the weevil and Ianto had to refrain himself from taking the pole and plunging it into the alien. He kneeled beside Jack and cradled his head in his lap, the other man barely conscious.

"It's alright, sir…you'll be okay..i'm here, just like I promised," Ianto looked into Jack's eyes and smiled slightly, rubbing his cheek. Jack smiled softly back at him and closed his eyes, dying this once with a happy thought that, even after what he had done, Ianto would still keep his promise. He would be there for Jack when he came back.

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><p><strong>So there's chapter 5! Hope you liked it. I think there might just be one more. I feel like the weevils aren't badass enough to kill Jack, but since I couldn't think of anything else I used a lot and this is what happened. Haha. I think that's about it. Please review!<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**So I should be studying for a biology exam, but instead I'm bringing you the last chapter of Alone. Something that was much more fun than studying no matter how distracted I got. Haha. ANYWAY, I'll stop rambling now. Enjoy!**

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><p>Ianto bit his lip nervously as he continued to caress Jack's cheek with his thumb. Right now it didn't matter to him what had happened over the past week. He had made a promise to Jack long ago that he would be there for him every time when he came back, and he would still keep that promise now. He wasn't paying much attention to the others; they were just there in the corner of his eyes. He was a bit surprised that Gwen hadn't come running over after Owen was done looking at him, but when he had glanced over at them he noticed that Owen had a hold of Gwen's arm so she wouldn't. He had to refrain himself from smiling a little.<p>

His attention was drawn back to Jack when he heard him take that first gasping breath. He tightened his hold, hugging Jack close to him.

"It's alright, Jack. I'm here. You're not alone," he whispered into his ear as he ran a hand through Jack's hair soothingly.

"Ianto? What happened?" Jack asked quietly, calming his breathing.

"A weevil got you from behind, but don't worry. They're all taken care of now. Just try to calm down and relax. You're okay," Ianto said soothingly with a small smile. Jack just nodded and took a deep breath. After about a minute he finally spoke again.

"Thank you, Ianto," he said sincerely, looking into the Welshman's eyes.

"I made a promise, Jack. I wasn't going to break it."

Jack really just wanted to lean up and kiss him, but he didn't think Ianto would appreciate that. So he settled for a bit of a compromise. He finally sat up and Ianto helped him stand. Jack kissed his cheek and started making his way back to the jeep.

"Wait, what are we going to do with the weevils?" Owen asked, causing Jack to stop and turn around.

"You think you could get Rhys to bring one of his lorries up here and bring them back to the hub in that?" He asked Gwen, who nodded and walked away to phone him. "They should stay unconscious long enough for us to get them back and get them into the cells. You two stay here and make sure none of them wake up. I don't want to risk it." He turned around and made his way to the jeep again after seeing them nod, although he wasn't surprised to hear footsteps following him anyway. He knew who it was.

"Sir, I—" Ianto stopped when Jack held out the keys to him and went around to the passenger side. Ianto got in the driver's side and drove back to the hub. The drive was rather quiet, but not an uncomfortable quiet. They soon got back and Ianto followed Jack up to his office, walking right past Toshiko. Ianto closed the door behind them and watched Jack as he sat on the couch.

"How are you feeling?" Ianto finally asked, breaking the silence. Jack looked up at him.

"Stupid," he responded simply. Ianto frowned and sat next to him.

"How so? It's not your fault the weevil got you. It snuck up—"

"Not about that," Jack said, cutting him off.

"Oh…well, what about, then? If you don't mind me asking, that is."

"Us…" Ianto looked down and stayed quiet. "There are not many people I say this about, but I need you, Ianto. I've missed you…"

"I've been right here, Jack…"

"I mean…I've missed the way things used to be…the way they should be…I don't deserve it, but I want you back, Ianto. You mean to much to me to just end it like I have with others…I was just too stupid to acknowledge that until I made the mistake of leaving you…I'm sorry…and I understand if you don't want me back…"

Ianto was quiet for a moment so Jack looked up and bit his lip, worried about what he might say.

"Oh Jack…" Ianto said with a small smile. "How could you think I wouldn't? I still love you, Jack. Always have, always will. Just because you ended things didn't mean I would stop, no matter how much I tried to…if only to make it easier to be around you."

Jack smiled back at him as Ianto leaned in, kissing him softly, and Jack kissed back, putting all his emotions into it so Ianto would know just how he felt. And he did.

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><p><strong>And there it is! The End. Hope you guys liked it. Please review!<strong>


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